The feeling of being powerless, unable to do anything, not being in control, and having to face the inevitable loss of a person you admire, you loved your whole life... I know the feeling, bro. And so many of us share your anxiety, your tensions, your sorrow. There are moments you wish to be as strong as you can, want to rationalize the whole thing, even question God or blame him in the process. No matter what you do, what you feel, what you think, never forget that the friends you have temporarily left here are willing to share half of the burden you need to carry throughout this ordeal. Life is tough. Just hang in there, buddy! This, too, shall pass.