What Now?

Next week, I will be taking my oath as a medical doctor. Fellow neophytes in the medical field sent an SMS yesterday asking me if I could be the master of ceremonies for the oathtaking. I said it would be an honor to be the master of ceremonies for the oathtaking and I would gladly welcome the job. "Daw kadasig lang, no?" (Everything's so fast, right?) More than a year ago I was just a poor clerk trying to kiss my consultants' and residents' asses, some of whom had larger asses to kiss. The experience was definitely humiliating, draining, burdening, but at times uplifting and worth-remembering. There was no way to get to where I am now except through those experiences. While it is only human to repress the worse experiences, it is not always that bad. There were best moments, too. And usually the best and funniest moments during my clerkship were moments with fellow clerks.

Now, I am a medical doctor, a neophyte like what I said, and I don't know what to do.


I am still in a discerning phase, whether to proceed to residency NOW or do some general practice first. The next question perhaps is, if I would take residency, what specialty would I take? I had to admit that during my clerkship I decided to take Internal Medicine, but during the course of my internship, many things have come to mind and many factors have influenced me to do some mind-changing. Right now, I am not sure whether I will take Internal Medicine or not.

But what are the factors to consider in taking up a specialty? Other than perhaps the economic gains, I am more considered of the work environment. I am a people person and the kind of people I will be working with is one of the many factors that I must consider. I can work with any person, believe me; I can be autistic at times. But personalities contribute to the kind of work environment which I believe is crucial to the kind of work experience I will have. I have encountered so many kinds of personalities, and perhaps the worst person I need to struggle with is no other than myself. I am already a complicated person to handle, handling 3 or 4 more of me would be more than enough already.

I love working with people who love their work. I love working with people who love people more than their work. But most of all, I love working with people who are people.

A residency training, especially in a public hospital, can dehumanize a person, strip himself from his own humanity, and convert him to something more mechanical rather than organic. Believe me, I have seen many who have transformed from a human being to an emotionless cyborg. The demands of work can speed up the process, not to mention the perpetual pressures from family and social life. That is why, residents who surpassed this phase of their training must be highly recognized, especially those who survived with their humanity intact. Truly, from them shall sprung up true human doctors, which our society really need.

I am still deciding on what actions to take. I have set myself a deadline. By next week, I should have already made plans.