Renewal of Vows

Pastor:(to the groom) "Jaja, will you cause Ricca (bride) pain?"
Groom: "I might..."
Pastor:"Is this your intention?"
Groom: "No..never."

My wife and I was honored to have been invited to an old friend's wedding last Saturday at La Proa, L' fisher Hotel. The solemnity and formality of the occasion has brought me to both a sense of out-of-place and in-the-zone. Out-of-place because I wasn't in my most "formal" wear. In-the-zone because weddings like this remind me of the wedding I never had and the wedding I will be having.


Pastor:(to the groom) "Jaja, will you cause Ricca (bride) pain?"
Groom: "I might..."
Pastor:"Is this your intention?"
Groom: "No..never."

My wife and I was honored to have been invited to an old friend's wedding last Saturday at La Proa, L' fisher Hotel. The solemnity and formality of the occasion has brought me to both a sense of out-of-place and in-the-zone. Out-of-place because I wasn't in my most "formal" wear. In-the-zone because weddings like this remind me of the wedding I never had and the wedding I will be having.

It is different when you are single and you are attending these weddings compared to when you are already married yourself. For one, you can no longer join the "catch the lace" game along with the single men. When you are single, there is nothing much to say to the bride and groom really except "best wishes."

One looks at weddings quite differently when one is already married. I have been married for 5 years now and knowing what I know now about married life, perhaps "best wishes" may not be enough to give as an advice. "Good luck!" may be more appropriate. For some, perhaps, "Are you sure?" Or maybe, "Are you really very sure?" Married life is tough and it is no longer just a game of let's-play-house.

For the first time, both my wife and I attended a wedding other than our own. We came just in time to see the beautiful bride walk down the center aisle towards her waiting groom. We seated ourselves with Khashi, an old high school friends and former college in BS Biology. I asked him when is he getting hooked himself. He told me there is no big enough hook to catch him. He is already in his 2nd year med proper in Dasmariñas. Later, Peewee and Radcibel joined our table. I asked the same question to both of them. I kiddingly told Peewee that his bait is perhaps still waiting for him in Cardinal Santos Hospital, while Radcibel's is just around the corner, more specifically within the vicinity of Our Lady of Mercy Hospital. So, 3 single and 2 married persons watching an old friend transitioning from singlehood to married life.

It was obvious that both the bride and groom were very happy. Who wouldn't? The wedding ceremony was so grand. All of their friends and relatives present with them. Who could ask for more?

As they exchanged their vows, I looked at my own beautiful wife beside me and remembered how our wedding went. It wasn't as grand as this one. She never was able to wear that white gown. Not all of our friends and families were present. The clothes I was wearing were making me out-of-place in my very own wedding. It wasn't the way we planned it. We never even "exchanged vows".

It has been 5 years since and they were all correct when they told us, prepare for a bumpy ride. The 5 years were never perfect. We were never ready in the first place. But every day, every moment of reconciliation, every chance of starting over, we renew the vows we never made. Marriage has become a lifetime mission for the two of us. How to make it to the end we really do not know. For us, it is but one step at a time. At night before we sleep, I thank God that I have just survived another day of my married life.

To Jaja and his wife, may you have the kind of married life we have: Imperfect but enduring. Bearing each other especially in the midst of our imperfections.