The Circle of Life

The month of March is about to close and 30 days more and a new turn in the circle of life begins. The chapter of PGIship closes and a new chapter of pre-board jitters and drama shall unfold. In this jungle that is called the medical animal kingdom, we step an inch closer to the canopies where the predators linger to give way to another set of fresh meat, ready prey for the hungry vultures. While we were junior interns, Dr. Guancia called my group as the coackroaches. We were the first of the firsts, the first group of medical students to ever rotate in the Department of Medicine. The next group before us was dubbed as the group of slugs. Yes, we were once prey ourselves. Now that we have turned into PGIs, we have slightly elevated ourselves just an inch above the jungle floor. The road to the top has just begun.

For the incoming junior interns, the feeling is perhaps an amalgamation of mixed sentiments. In between the excitement lies the feeling of dread and anxiety. The medical serfdom is a cruel place and may not be suitable for the weak and the vulnerable. I was once weak and almost came to a point when I almost got broken by the experience. But perhaps the breaking up of one's self is part of the experience, if not the whole purpose of the exposure. There were moments when I had to question whether I have the right set of values and principles and whether or not I will be going a long way if I hold on to these ideals. I despaired over how to reconcile my ideals with reality. Being a Junior Intern is perhaps the most frustrating and rewarding part of my life.

For the outgoing PGIs, the feeling is yet another sense of ancitipation. Now the hurdle of tackling the boards has been set, for my batch, maybe a foot higher than the usual standard. Throughout the race, we were assured that it is going to be very bloody. I know this because even before the race has commenced, so many have been opposed to us. The odds are overwhelming and the put-downs too heavily discouraging. Last night though Dra. Cerrada told me not to mind these hecklers and critics. And she is right. I shouldn't be wasting my time throwing stones at the dogs. Ignoring them is not only helpful but therapeutic in a way. The best way to silence the loud critics is to prove them wrong. It is better therefore to make time to thank those who have been sincerely affirming our potentials. I thank God for the gift of mentors whose support is unquestionable. If not for their affirmation, we won't make it this far.

And the circle of life continues, sometimes recapitulating events that have already happened in the past. But most of the time, the circle of life turns to new pages that will bring a new set of excitement, frustration and even hope.

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