Hakuna Matata

I had the most toxic duty last night. Although I only had 14 admissions all in all, three of those are very toxic patients. One is a case of massive GI bleed, the other is a case of a seriously large cerebrovascular infarct and the other is acute respiratory distress, a known Chronic renal disease patient secondary to gouty arthritis. Before I went home today, I found out that the stroke patient already died at the ICU. The kidney patient's folks have signed the DNR consent. The GI bleed patient is currently recuperating at the ICU as well.

It can be very wearisome at times. It was my first time not to eat dinner on time. It was my first time also to wake up early before breakfast time since I had to go on a much earlier morning rounds to check up on all my toxic admissions. The hardest part was apprising folks of their patient's conditions, especially those who are in a very critical stage. My strong religious background and experience as a campus peer minister have helped me counsel families during this part of the job. It pains me to see people dying and the course of death is beyond anyone's control. There are those who still are very aggresive in their management despite the very bleak prognosis. There are those who are very much willing to let go and let their beloved die peacefully.

Consoling the grieving family can be very draining at times. And situations like these make me appreciate my family, my friends and my personal life even more than every yesterday. I am glad for the gift of life and every time I feel so down at the bottom, I find strength in the experiences I have while being a post-graduate intern.

I am now at the end-days and I am down to my last two remaining 24hour duties at the Department. I am to make a final assessment of my experience as a PGI at the end of the month. Hopefully, this assessment will also help guide me in my future approaches to life as a medical professional.